As predicted, my in-box is full. Told you so!

The swingers story aired last night (if you missed it I'm attaching a link to my archive page ). Well, let me tell you my friends... this morning I was somewhat afraid to log in to my e-mail!

A controversial story like this is quite a challenge because no matter what you do...someone is going to be mad. My goal is to always be fair and tell the story through the eyes of the people I interview. In this case, I interviewed two couples (who were both very nice by the way. A lot of people have asked me about them). I wanted to give them a platform to express their points of view. Isn't that a positive thing? Talking? Even if we don't agree, I think public discourse is always good.

I also interviewed a psychotherapist and a marriage counselor. The counselor, Ina Mlekush ( www.spiritualsexuality.com) has been doing this for 20 years. She was a very pleasant, open minded person. I have come to appreciate talking to people who are open minded (and non-judgmental). As a reporter, I have interviewed hundreds of people over the years. The most frustrating thing for me is talking to someone who is myopic and sees the world ONLY through their eyes and experiences. Ina is quite the opposite and I appreciate that.

At any rate, she told me that the divorce rate now lingers somewhere around 80%. I have to say, I was shocked when she said this. I thought the divorce rate was somewhere around 55%. Ina sent me a follow up e-mail to clarify her statistic and I am posting this information for everyone to see. Also, I'm posting an e-mail I received from a woman named Chrissy. She took issue with some of the things that were said in my stories. Again, that's the beauty of public discourse. We can talk. Or at least that's my hope.

Below is the additional information from Ina:

In www.divorcemag.com it is stated 80% of divorces are irreconcilable
differences.
In 1997 43 % of marriages end up in divorce
First marriages 50% end up in divorce
Remarriages 60% end up in divorce
There were:
116, 3000 divorces in 1997
2,500,000 divorces in 2002

115% Increase in Divorce from 1997 TO 2002
Not having the exact the numbers of marriages in 2007.....................
I deduced from these figures that we are at an 80% divorce rate.

Now here's the e-mail from Chrissy:

I appreciate the open mind you appear to have towards those you
interviewed, and towards the Lifestyle.

With all due respect, I think it needs to be addressed and corrected,
that a "fact" has been inaccurately stated (twice for emphasis!) by an
"expert". "Do you realize 80 percent of all marriages end in divorce?
Eighty percent." (already at least 2 viewers have quoted the 80% as a
fact already - there is no way to guess how many thousands of people who
watched this now believe that 80% in marriages end in divorce)

Would you care to let me know the reason my comments have not been posted?

Thank you again for not presenting swingers as psychotic sexaholics.

Chrissy

3 Comments

TJMG said:

Based on the numbers you've provided in this blog, I'm incredibly unclear how Ina arrived at %80. If that is the extent of input, there isn't enough data to even come up with a present day approximation, let alone an exact percentage.

Don't want to split hairs, but what was written simply isn't making sense to me.

April 27, 2007 6:05 PM

YF said:

I feel that if the couple is solid in their relationship, then great for them! I admire them for taking it one step further. I think being in tuned to each other is a must!! Along with total honesty and committment. It needs to be 100% in order to work. If one of these 3 elements is missing, it won't work. The relationship is destined to fail.

I love seeing this couple so happy and in love with each other. Kudos!

Sincerely,
th'YF...

April 28, 2007 5:50 PM

Happy in CO said:

I loved your stories! My husband and I have been happily married for 7 years and joined 'the lifestyle' in the past year. We're a 'normal', professional, early 40's couple, secure in our relationship and 'swinging' has become a wonderful enhancement to our lives. Yes, it's outside of the mainstream values of our society, but we believe in living life to the fullest and this is part of it. We are having tons of fun making new friends 'with benefits'.

May 2, 2007 11:04 AM

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