 |  |
I have been such a bad blogger. Basically I haven't blogged in months (don't tell my boss). My excuse is that time has gotten away from me. I got married on New Year's Eve and I feel like I am just now (three months later) finding some respite.
The thing is, today I am moved to take time to blog because I'm working on a story that blows my mind.
For many months I've been following the story of Casey Johansen. He's a young husband and father of two.
I was at the grocery store the other day and something happened. It wasn't a big deal, really. But it got me thinking?
I was in line with a cart full of groceries. Basically I was the annoying person who is stocking up when everyone else is just there to buy one or two things. There was only one line open (of course!). And a lady walked up behind me with just a couple of items. She seemed really stressed so I asked her if she'd like to go ahead of me. No big deal. I wasn't in a hurry. Well she was so thankful and appreciative that I offered and, as she hurried out of the store, she said to me something about paying it forward.
I have so much respect for the two women featured in my story tonight. They agreed to talk about their ugliest moment -- while the television camera was rolling.
Depression attacked each of these women, in different forms. Beth Anderson was pregnant with her third child when it happened. All of a sudden, a repressed memory from her childhood began to haunt her. It was something she had never dealt with. In the end, she had a nervous break down and had to be hospitalized -- for a month.
Gina Taylor seemed to have the perfect life (then again, what is a perfect life, really?). Well, she definitely had a lot going for her: A great husband, healthy, beautiful kids. Not to mention a fabulous career. Gina is a morning radio host here in Phoenix (now on Mix 96.9). Despite all of this, she suddenly felt her fabulous life spinning out of control. The thing is, Gina had no clue that she was suffering from postpartum depression. She couldn't figure out why ... all of a sudden... she was so sad, so detached, so irritated with life.
Then all of the anxiety came crashing to the surface. She nearly ran off the freeway when it happened. That was the moment. The "I NEED HELP RIGHT NOW" moment. She reached out to a doctor (her gynecologist and then eventually a therapist). And she began to emerge from what she calls "the dark cloud".
Her marriage was lost in all of this, but her life was saved. Today she and her ex-husband are great friends. And she is a great mother.
I don't pretend to know what it's like to battle depression. But I can say that I respect these women for wanting to get better. For wanting to be healthy for their kids.
The psychologist I interviewed for this story said as many as 80% of people who suffer from depression go without treatment. That is a lot of unhappy people. The doctor also pointed out, while people have no power over being depressed -- because this is a bio-chemical disorder -- they do have power over how long they choose to stay there. Under that dark cloud.
The women I interviewed chose to get better. Beth spent a month in the hospital and has been working to remain healthy ever since (it has been about 15 years). Gina spent years in counseling and on medication and, subsequently, turned to exercise to help keep her healthy and happy. Both women took control of their lives. They didn't allow themselves to be victims. And for that, I give them both the upmost respect.
The story airs tonight at 5:00. If you miss it, you can check it out online.
I hope this story inspires other women to get help... if they need it. Sadly, so many women don't put themselves on "the list". They do so much for everyone else, friends and family, neighbors and co-workers, but they fail to make sure that they are truly happy.
Wow... I've had a crazy couple of months.
First, I interviewed a group of swingers. Then I moved on to a story about the self help book turned DVD, "The Secret". Have you heard about this? It promises to share the so-called secret to a better life: A more rewarding, fulfilling and joyful life. Yeah, I know... blah blah... we've heard it all before, some might say au nauseum. But what I found interesting about The Secret is that it focuses on the law of attraction. Basically, they say, you have to BE who and what you want to attract. Okay, I'm down with that.
And now I'm on to another story... and it is equally as fascinating as the last two. I've been following a young woman, Mary McDonald, as she takes the radical step of becoming a nun. Not only a nun, a cloistered nun. Meaning she will be shut away from the outside world.
Mary is joining a group called the Desert Nuns. That's their name, I didn't make it up for television purposes. They spend their days studying, praying and answering prayers (via the internet) from all around the world. Their mission here in the desert is to build a Monastery.
Listen to this, at the age of 18, Mary says she knew this was her calling. She was willing to give up everything: dating, marriage, sex, and freedom. I have to say, I admire her conviction. I admire anyone who has this level of conviction, commitment and focus in life.
So you see, I have really run the gamut with my stories over the past couple of months. But it really is a great gig. Covering such a wide variety of stories makes me more open minded. It's kind of funny, actually. I got an e-mail a couple of weeks ago from a viewer who read my blog (about swingers) and said they found me to be "very judgmental". It struck me because I have always tried NOT to be judgmental. Don't get me wrong... I'm not saying that I am Miss Perfect. Not even close. But passing judgement, well... that's never been my thing. In fact, I find that to be one of the worst attributes anyone can possess.
I mean really, who am I to say how anyone else should live their life? So long as no one is being hurt, I really don't care what people decide to do. From the swingers to the nuns, it is all about personal choice. I guess for me, that's "The Secret". To each their own!
My story, Desert Nuns airs tonight at 5:00. Or you can catch it on my archive page,
As predicted, my in-box is full. Told you so!
The swingers story aired last night (if you missed it I'm attaching a link to my archive page ). Well, let me tell you my friends... this morning I was somewhat afraid to log in to my e-mail!
A controversial story like this is quite a challenge because no matter what you do...someone is going to be mad. My goal is to always be fair and tell the story through the eyes of the people I interview. In this case, I interviewed two couples (who were both very nice by the way. A lot of people have asked me about them). I wanted to give them a platform to express their points of view. Isn't that a positive thing? Talking? Even if we don't agree, I think public discourse is always good.
I also interviewed a psychotherapist and a marriage counselor. The counselor, Ina Mlekush ( www.spiritualsexuality.com) has been doing this for 20 years. She was a very pleasant, open minded person. I have come to appreciate talking to people who are open minded (and non-judgmental). As a reporter, I have interviewed hundreds of people over the years. The most frustrating thing for me is talking to someone who is myopic and sees the world ONLY through their eyes and experiences. Ina is quite the opposite and I appreciate that.
At any rate, she told me that the divorce rate now lingers somewhere around 80%. I have to say, I was shocked when she said this. I thought the divorce rate was somewhere around 55%. Ina sent me a follow up e-mail to clarify her statistic and I am posting this information for everyone to see. Also, I'm posting an e-mail I received from a woman named Chrissy. She took issue with some of the things that were said in my stories. Again, that's the beauty of public discourse. We can talk. Or at least that's my hope.
Below is the additional information from Ina:
In www.divorcemag.com it is stated 80% of divorces are irreconcilable
differences.
In 1997 43 % of marriages end up in divorce
First marriages 50% end up in divorce
Remarriages 60% end up in divorce
There were:
116, 3000 divorces in 1997
2,500,000 divorces in 2002
115% Increase in Divorce from 1997 TO 2002
Not having the exact the numbers of marriages in 2007.....................
I deduced from these figures that we are at an 80% divorce rate.
Now here's the e-mail from Chrissy:
I appreciate the open mind you appear to have towards those you
interviewed, and towards the Lifestyle.
With all due respect, I think it needs to be addressed and corrected,
that a "fact" has been inaccurately stated (twice for emphasis!) by an
"expert". "Do you realize 80 percent of all marriages end in divorce?
Eighty percent." (already at least 2 viewers have quoted the 80% as a
fact already - there is no way to guess how many thousands of people who
watched this now believe that 80% in marriages end in divorce)
Would you care to let me know the reason my comments have not been posted?
Thank you again for not presenting swingers as psychotic sexaholics.
Chrissy
Okay so I'm working on this story about suburban swingers and it's got people talking. Talking and blogging and sending me e-mails. Lots of e-mails!
It's a controversial topic that cuts to the heart of a morality debate. It also raises a lot of questions about the state of marriage in today's society. One marriage counselor I talked to said 80% of marriages fail. 80%! Why? She said it has a lot to do with sex and intimacy.
I interviewed several so-called swingers. And I have to tell you, I was surprised. These couples were not at all what I expected. I don't know what I expected, really. I guess I thought we would show up to find a really hairy guy with lots of gold chains waving us in to his love palace. Nope. Not even close.
The couples we talked to were all well put together, successful professionals. And they all have one thing in common: monogamy is not for them.
One of the men I interviewed says he is madly in love with his wife. Yet he says it doesn't bother him at all when she is intimate with another man during one of their get togethers. In fact, he says it brings them closer together and adds "spice" to their marriage, thus keeping it strong.
He also told me that, in his opionion, this lifestyle is about individuality and being open minded. In his words (and this is a direct quote), "We don't have individuals anymore. We have cookie cutter everything: houses, clothes, mentalities. Somebody comes out and tries to be an individual and it's like, 'oh no we gotta lock them up'.
I'm not a hopeless romantic, but in many ways I guess I am pretty old fashioned about love and family. While this lifestyle is not for me, I didn't walk away offended. If these are all consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone? Well? I don't know.
This story defintitely leaves you with a lot to think about: marriage, monogamy, love and individuality. It airs Thursday night at 5:00. And I expect by 5:15 my in-box will be full.
I'm working on an in-depth story about suburban swingers. Right. I said suburban swingers. We're not talking about a bunch of people in seedy, smoke filled x-rated clubs. We're talking about soccer moms and ivy league dads (or perhaps its ivy league moms and soccer dads).
How this story came about? Well, in recent months I've been hearing a lot about this kind of "alternative" life style. In North Scottsdale, there's a custom home community (that shall remain nameless) where... according to our sources... a group of couples all moved to the same neighborhood so they could be close. I'm told when these couples gather for parties, they throw their house keys in a bowl and randomly pick a key -- thus picking the person with whom they become intimate. I'm curious to find out what's the driving force in all of this. Is it boredom in the bedroom or is it something else? And what does it say about marriage?
See I'm about to walk down the aisle (at the end of this year), so I've got marriage on the brain. I can't help but wonder how many truly happy married couples there are? It all seems so fabulous in the beginning; someone to share your life with, someone to be on your team. But how do you actually stay interested in each other and in love?
In the coming weeks, I'm scheduled to interview several couples who are so-called "suburban swingers". I'll update this blog when I finish these interviews. It should be interesting. Stay tuned!
What's the point, really? Seeking revenge seems like so much more of a hassle than what it's worth. Forget the moral implications. I'm just looking at this from a practical stand point.
So I met the guy who calls himself an exorcist. Bob Larson has done, by his estimation, more than 10,000 exorcisms around the world. Now he's set up a church in the Phoenix area, it's called The Spiritual Freedom Church.
The very first thing kids (many, or should we say most kids) do when they get home from school is log on to MySpace, and then keep it on ALL night. What are they chatting about? What are the dangers that they don't think about? Things that could haunt them for years to come.
For three months, I've been following a group of eighth-grade girls here in the Valley. What I've witnessed is nothing short of disturbing!
The funny thing about politicians is that they often make their jobs harder than they have to be. I'm not saying that they have it easy because, after all, it would be impossible to please everyone all the time. But what many of our men and women in office fail to understand is that the American people don't like all the side stepping, leaning, leaping -- call it what you will, they don't like all the dancing around the truth. What they like and what they seem to be craving is straight talk. Good, bad or indifferent, most people just want to know what's really going on. And it doesn't seem like that is asking too much?
I'm excited to be working on a new franchise called, "The Storytellers". These are in-depth stories that allow us to go beyond the headlines. There is so much going on in our society, in our world -- I believe that we need to have public discourse. I also believe that people care about what's happening, even if it doesn't directly affect their life.
For three months, I followed the story of a woman named Tracy. She and her husband were making ends meet, one paycheck at a time. That is, until her husband died and she could no longer pay the rent. Tracy found herself out on the street, with her 12 year old son, Hans. For weeks they were sleeping behind a dumpster outside a Target store.
| Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | ||
| 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
| 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 |
| 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 |
| 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 |
