Seriously.

You see, until a few days ago -- two Saturdays ago, to be exact -- I had sculptured acrylic nails. They weren't claw-like or anything. And they weren't garishly polished. They were nice, and people noticed.

I'd had acrylic nails since I was in college. Before that, probably, because I remember having to find a salon within walking or biking distance of the USC campus my freshman year.

So, I did the math and figured out that my own breakable, split-prone, weak, sad, natural nails had not seen the light of day for more than the 40 minutes or so it takes to apply a new set (every four to six months) in some 15 years.

That seemed kind of wrong. I'm not sure why, but it did.

I'd thought about taking my nails off before, but I'm not crazy about how my hands look without them. I think I have stubby, little-girl hands. Oval-tipped nails make my fingers look longer. I cannot, however, do squared-off tips. They look silly on my baby hands.

About two weeks ago, I broke a nail opening a nail file. Ironic? A sign? The acrylics were a little loose so when I went to the salon on Saturday, I decided to have them take off.

Call it an experiment.

I want to see how my natural nails do on their own. I'm healthier now than I've been in the past. Maybe they'll be able to cut it. Maybe they'll actually grow. In order for them to have a chance, though, I can't be sanding 'em down and coating 'em with acrylic every two or three weeks.

So, I'm giving my nails the opportunity to prove themselves. My hair grows thick and well. Why shouldn't my nails?

In the meantime, I'm noticing a lot of things I'd unconsciously used my acrylic nails for. Opening cans. Popping pills out of those foil-backed bubble packs. Picking dropped coins up off the floor. Opening and closing snap-latch earrings. Putting on necklaces. Removing tape or stickers from hard surfaces. Back scratches. (Acrylics are great for that.)

And I had a little trouble typing for the first couple of days. I had run into that one before when I had broken an acrylic and my hand was out of balance. But I figured with all of them gone, it wouldn't be a problem. That one was weird. In fact, I'm still getting used to it.

I'm also noticing that I can feel the cold through my nails. It's odd.

And the nail polish doesn't last very long. But I expected that.

What I didn't expect was for people to notice that my nails were gone. I am stunned at how many people have asked me about them.

"What happened?" one co-worker asked, sounding concerned. I was a little baffled.

"What happened to what?"

"Your nails! What happened to your nails?"

Oh. OK.

One person asking, I get. Two or three, seems a little weird, but not totally unthinkable. But everybody? Even men? And it's been going on or days. Totally didn't see that one coming.

I swear, if I have to explain about my little experiment one more time, I might have to claw somebody with my finger nubs.

Or maybe I'll just go have the acrylics put back on.